I accidentally burped into my bong.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
