I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
