well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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