I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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