Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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