Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
