I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
