I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
