I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
