Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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