At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
