Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I could fuck to npr.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
