So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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