Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
