Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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