my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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