carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
