Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
