Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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