if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
