Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
