Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you had me at cake vodka
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
