Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
