I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
