I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to calm my uterus...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
