Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
