would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
