So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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