Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
