I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
