sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
