Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
