he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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