Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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