Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
