He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
