I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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