u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
