i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
