I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
