I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
