..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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