i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We left the knife in your bed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
