Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
