Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
