OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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