I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
