just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
