I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Alive.
So much puke
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
