Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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