A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
